Alone or not?

She sits quiet.

She has been that way for quiet some time now.

Her tension builds that she chews the insides of her cheek.

The wind blows in her hair and creeps up the small pores on her flawless skin.

She tries to not think of him.

She had been able to distract herself the whole morning gleefully running around with her friends and yet she found herself sitting all alone with pods plugged into her ears staring at nothing In this beautiful evening.

She couldn’t understand what bothered her more, the fact that he was not there with her or he made up excuses to not talk to her.

I mean, what difference would a call make anyway.

Everything to her.

But,

Nothing to him.

Yet, she smiled ,for this was not the first time.

Obviously the poor creature had to throw it all behind her and move forward, smiling, even though she was furious.

She was more that furious.

But she was used to this.

Or not.

Photo credits- pexels.

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The silly swain!

The river hushed the notorious scree

The sky hushed the wind

A girl in red, with her soft mesmerising features

was crying softly, sitting near the river bed

There was something about her voice

that made the river to stop and listen

The sky to numb it’s wait

The lush green grass glistened

Her tears were the tiny droplets of love,

falling in his wake

She fiddled with the rim of her dress

So empty and opaque

His promises sounded melodious

Yet, she was dancing with pain

All she did was love him

Hah! She was just a silly swain.

Photo credits- pixels.

Was it him?

Uncertainty pulled her Down

The brightness he brought along

Was now fading around

They laugh at her

He befooled her with his facade

She’s bruised all over

Keeps keeling over and over again

How naive she stood

Somebody help her up for God’s sake!

She hates herself for loving him

No, none was his mistake.

Photo- pixels

My rain.

It was a pleasant day

She felt pleasant at heart

Red lipstick smothered her lips

Oh! What an art

For he, she embraced her wounds

Her sadness and her thoughts

She closed her eyes, fraught misery

Each day she fought

The teeming water did little

It only inflicted pain

For he had always forenamed

That, “You are my rain”.

Picture credits- pexels.com

Enticing facade

 



I fell in love with his voice 

I fell in love with his smile 

It was difficult to walk alone 

When I knew he was walking behind 


I compromised with his flaws 

I closed eyes 

I knew I was hurting each day 

But it was enticing 

It was burning me alive 


He held his facade 

On his plastic love 

His words entrapped me

Below and above 


A bag of wind was he 

Had a charming, delightful side 

But slowly and steadily 

I was losing my mind.
Picture credits-pexels 

Controlling

Sometimes I have had enough.

Sometimes we all have had enough.

I have had a control over my life since the day I was born.

Not by myself, but by someone or the other.

‘CONTROL’ such an overrated and a fearful word.

It either brightens your life or destroys.

Maybe having a controlling life Is good,

Maybe being a control freak is what you need,

You have a path decided

You have your way mapped out.

But what if it’s mapped and decorated by someone else.

What if the chains of your life are held by someone else and you can’t even breathe without them knowing

Yes, exactly that bad!

This control

It reaches out to your soul and threatens to capture it.

Being controlling may work for some

But what about to others who are stuck within themselves,

Unable to break free.

What then,

What’s the war against, then?”!

Picture Credits – Pexels.com

Girlfriend’s

She lay in bed
Scrolling through her snapchat stories

Her eye caught a name that made a tear roll down her eye

She clicked the story exhaling hard.

Three faces, three stories

Her head got wounded with memories, fights, betrayals.

She dropped her phone

And lay on her stomach

Her head buried In her arms while she realized what she was missing.

Thoughts clouded her head.

She was fidgeting

She was needy

She had never thought she would turn into one.

No matter how many people she had around her , people who loved her , she was alone.

For god’s sake she needed someone.

But there was no one.

She screamed

Yes, she did

Pulled her hair for she was suffocating

She ran here and there trying to escape through the walls of her own home

She was not alone

But lonely.

Maybe she had brought this on herself

Maybe it was her own fault.

She kept screaming till the nerves of her head ached for her to stop.

She was stuck

In her own bubble of aura

Was it of any worth though?

If it brought her to this

Then definitely not

She thought of calling her boyfriend

But she knew

He was not what she needed right now

She needed her girlfriends

She needed those three angels to know herself again.

She needed to hug them, share gossips like they used to , share that authentic laughter , help her.

She was hurting for she needed them the most right now

But they left

They left her behind and formed their own little bond in which she was denied entrance

She could have easily blamed the three for abandoning

But she blamed herself

And so she screamed and began to hate herself

She had lost her good pair of friend’s

She lost her best girls

But she was going to make sure

They never know

Not now

Not ever.

Picture Credits – pexels.com

I’m sorry for late updating. I was caught up in exams and all. I hope you guys like this. Thank you so much for supporting.

But…he had promised!!

It was a bright morning when she woke up .

The rusty metal in her eyes glistened with hope.

She had missed him much.

For it had been so long.

A week.

Of course it was long.

For her atleast.

And she was going to see him.

Today.

She only hoped nothing go wrong for she had to keep her love hidden.

Hidden from her family.

She did everything to make herself look presentable.

She loved to hear him praise her.

She loved to hear his voice.

So, wearing that prada coat and her aldo heels, she left the house lieing that it was a friend she needed to visit.

Clutching the phone tightly in her hand and waiting for that one name to blink on the screen, got her heart racing.

She threw her hair back and smiled at the caller id.

But something in her stired.

She felt uneasy.

But she picked up anyway.

“Hello?” she whispered.

“Hi, Rose… ” and he lingered at her name.

“What’s wrong? she asked.

“Please don’t be mad, okay?”

“What is it? ”

‘maybe he’s just playing around. Please, don’t make him cancel this.’ She folded her fingers making them dig her palm.

“I… I can’t make it. Can we meet some other day?”

“But… you promised!” She whispered.

“I know babe. I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you” and with that he hung up.

Rose, sat in silence.

Tears rolling down her eyes.

“But… you promised” she whispered in the empty air.

Parking her car under a gigantic tree, She sat,staring into nothing.

Feeling all empty.

Feeling all alone.

“He’ll make it up to me” she thought finally, all drained out.

‘But… he promised’ came from that cruel voice inside her.

He had promised.

Picture credits- pexels.com

Does he??*

She stood looking at herself in the standing mirror.

Her eyes secretly scanned the room, while he was searching for something.

Isn’t he lucky! what a beautiful room!!’ She thought to herself.

He came from behind and hugged her, kissing her on her cheek.

She smiled in the mirror communicating passionately with his grey orbs.

She had always admired his colour.

Isn’t he lucky!! such beautiful eyes!! she thought again.

He turned her and kissed her on her forehead, whispering how beautiful she was.

She traced his face with the tip of her finger, stroking the stubble.

She had always loved his stubble.

She loved when it tickled her skin.

She looked at him again, completing shutting out his words of praises for her.

“Doesn’t he realize how beautiful he is.”

” doesn’t he know, how lucky she was to have him.”

“Does he know, she dreams of him every night.”

“Does he realize, how much she is in love with him?”

“Now, Does he?”

Picture Credits:: pixels.com

Friends for benefits!


Varied
thoughts muffled around her in a bubble.

A bubble that was mocking her.

A bubble that was caging her in.

She was breaking.

She was breaking bad.

But he was oblivious to this or was feigning to be.

She lay in her bed , shedding tears.

While all he was doing was partying and hanging out with his silly bunch of friends.

Lying was what he was becoming good at.

She had given him , her all.

But all he was delivering were lies.

His touch was enough for her, he thought.

He thought satisfying her physically was what she needed. 

Oh! How naive could he be.

Or maybe a little selfish.

She was not a toy he could use , or a tissue, he could throw away.

Oh no!

She had desired to be cherished.

She had desired to be loved.

But all she received were lies.

All she received was his new-found ego.

She screamed at her reflection for being such a wretch.

She screamed at her for loving him this long.

She broke down terribly, for she had to make a decision.

A decision to let him go.

A decision to never come back to him.

A decision to stop loving him anymore. 

This was going to be the worst nightmare of her life.

For, she loved him more than her own soul.
*

Photo courtesy: pexels.com