Controlling


Sometimes I have had enough.

Sometimes we all have had enough.

I have had a control over my life since the day I was born.

Not by myself, but by someone or the other.

‘CONTROL’ such an overrated and a fearful word.

It either makes your life or destroys.

Maybe having a controlling life Is good,

Maybe being a control freak is what you need, 

You have a path decided 

You have your way mapped out.

But what if it’s mapped and decorated by someone else.

What if the chains of your life are held by someone else and you can’t even breathe without them knowing 

Yes, exactly that bad! 

This control

It reaches out to your soul and threatens to capture it.

Being controlling may work for some 

But what about to others who are stuck within themselves, 

Unable to break free.

What then, 

What’s the war against, then?

Credits” 

Pexels.com

Girlfriend’s

She lay in bed
Scrolling through her snapchat stories 

Her eye caught a name that made a tear roll down her eye

She clicked the story exhaling hard.

Three faces, three stories 

Her head got wounded with memories, fights, betrayals.

She dropped her phone 

And lay on her stomach 

Her head buried In her arms while she realized what she was missing.

Thoughts clouded her head.

She was fidgeting

She was needy 

She had never thought she would turn into one.

No matter how many people she had around her , people who loved her , she was alone.

For god’s sake she needed someone.

But there was no one.

She screamed 

Yes, she did 

Pulled her hair for she was suffocating

She ran here and there trying to escape through the walls of her own home

She was not alone 

But lonely.

Maybe she had brought this on herself

Maybe it was her own fault.

She kept screaming till the nerves of her head ached for her to stop.

She was stuck

In her own bubble of aura 

Was it of any worth though?

If it brought her to this 

Then definitely not 

She thought of calling her boyfriend 

But she knew 

He was not what she needed right now 

She needed her girlfriends 

She needed those three angels to know herself again.

She needed to hug them, share gossips like they used to , share that authentic laughter , help her.

She was hurting for she needed them the most right now 

But they left

They left her behind and formed their own little bond in which she was denied entrance 

She could have easily blamed the three for abandoning 

But she blamed herself 

And so she screamed and began to hate herself

She had lost her good pair of friend’s

She lost her best girls

But she was going to make sure 

They never know 

Not now 

Not ever.

Credits – pexels.com

I’m sorry for late updating. I was caught up in exams and all. I hope you guys like this. Thank you so much for supporting.

But…he had promised!!

It was a bright morning when she woke up .

The rusty metal in her eyes glistened with hope.

She had missed him much.

For it had been so long.

A week.

Of course it was long. 

For her atleast.

And she was going to see him.

Today.

She only hoped nothing go wrong for she had to keep her love hidden.

Hidden from her family.

She did everything to make herself look presentable.

She loved to hear him praise her.

She loved to hear his voice.

So, wearing that prada coat and her aldo heels, she left the house lieing that it was a friend she needed to visit.

Clutching the phone tightly in her hand and waiting for that one name to blink on the screen, got her heart racing.

She threw her hair back and smiled at the caller id.

But something in her stired.

 She felt uneasy.

But she picked up anyway.

“Hello?” she whispered.

“Hi, Rose… ” and he lingered at her name.

“What’s wrong? she asked.

“Please don’t be mad, okay?”

“What is it? ” 

‘maybe he’s just playing around. Please, don’t make him cancel this.’ She folded her fingers making them dig her palm.

“I… I can’t make it. Can we meet some other day?”

“But… you promised!” She whispered.

“I know babe. I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you” and with that he hung up. 

Rose, sat in silence.

Tears rolling down her eyes.

“But… you promised” she whispered in the empty air.

Parking her car under a gigantic tree, She sat,staring into nothing.

Feeling all empty.

Feeling all alone.

“He’ll make it up to me” she thought finally, all drained out.

‘But… he promised’ came from that cruel voice inside her.

He had promised.

Does he??*


She stood looking at herself in the standing mirror.

Her eyes secretly scanned the room, while he was searching for something.

Isn’t he lucky! what a beautiful room!!’ She thought to herself. 

He came from behind and hugged her, kissing her on her cheek.

She smiled in the mirror communicating passionately with his grey orbs.

She had always admired his colour.

Isn’t he lucky!! such beautiful eyes!!    she thought again.

He turned her and kissed her on her forehead, whispering how beautiful she was.

She traced his face with the tip of her finger, stroking the stubble. 

She had always loved his stubble. 

She loved when it tickled her skin.

She looked at him again, completing shutting out his words of praises for her.

“Doesn’t he realize how beautiful he is.” 

” doesn’t he know, how lucky she was to have him.”

“Does he know, she dreams of him every night.” 

“Does he realize, how much she is in love with him?”

“Now, Does he?”


Credits:: pixels.com

Friends for benefits!


Varied
thoughts muffled around her in a bubble.

A bubble that was mocking her.

A bubble that was caging her in.

She was breaking.

She was breaking bad.

But he was oblivious to this or was feigning to be.

She lay in her bed , shedding tears.

While all he was doing was partying and hanging out with his silly bunch of friends.

Lying was what he was becoming good at.

She had given him , her all.

But all he was delivering were lies.

His touch was enough for her, he thought.

He thought satisfying her physically was what she needed. 

Oh! How naive could he be.

Or maybe a little selfish.

She was not a toy he could use , or a tissue, he could throw away.

Oh no!

She had desired to be cherished.

She had desired to be loved.

But all she received were lies.

All she received was his new-found ego.

She screamed at her reflection for being such a wretch.

She screamed at her for loving him this long.

She broke down terribly, for she had to make a decision.

A decision to let him go.

A decision to never come back to him.

A decision to stop loving him anymore. 

This was going to be the worst nightmare of her life.

For, she loved him more than her own soul.
*

Photo courtesy: pexels.com

Chestnuts first kiss!



She
lay demurely, engulfed in the fluffiness of her covers.

Her hand brushed over her lips, smiling at the exquisite memory.

Her hair bestrewed all over her pillow, feeling idle without his hand caressing them, pinning them behind her ear. 

Her chestnut hair loved the feel of his fingers in between them.

He had cupped her face, benevolently. Holding still, letting the moment to sink in.

He was giving her time to pull back if she wanted to, but secretly he had been  dreaming of those lips around his since so long.

He wanted to feel them. To capture them, to explore and to see if they matched his rhythm.

She was sure she was ready. 

All she worried about was it’s perfection.

Nature had given her the answer for that. 

The clouds bribed the brightest star to hide behind them. The wind saw it’s cue and swirled around singing happy songs. The leaves flew smiling widely. The sky turned pink, For something beautiful was about to happen to her and they had wished her luck.

Slowly, her lips collided with his. She held him tightly, digging her fingernails into his skin while he explored her all. The sync was more than perfect for them. For they couldn’t pull back.

He bit her lip and she winced, wanting more of him.

A low moan escaped her lips and he captured her again, pulling her towards him.

 The small space they were confined in was no obstacle to them.

All she could think about was the moment to never seize.

To be pressed up against him, secured in his warmth.

 Her utter bliss was him. 

She had never felt so amazing before. 

 For, She wanted him. 

And so she didn’t dare pull back.

After all it was her first kiss.

Her first kiss in a car.

*

Photo courtesy: pexels.com

The meek one!

The consistent ache was crystallising her soul,

Stopping her breath, digging deep holes,

She was that fire,

that could burn the forest,

Tried taming her misery, the harsh wind chorused,

The consistent ache was because of him,

She had waited too long, loosing all in a blink

She was now ,

a feather too weak, 

flying aimlessly, considered too meek!

*

Photo courtesy: pexels.com

I hope you like it fellaass!!

All for him!

She lay her head on his bare chest. His hand casually caressed her skin, her hair, sending tingles all over her body. 

They lay together in his bed watching an episode of a daily TV show, friends.

They both fancied It.

Staring at the screen on his laptop, all she could think about was his hand slowly scouting her body. Rubbing her arm, protectively holding her close.

She wanted to kiss him but he was relishing the show. His subtle laugh made her smile. She lay like that savouring all she could.

She knew they were together only for a matter of a few hours maybe even less and she wanted to make the maximum of it.

She wanted to savour his scent, to memorize his fingers running on her body, to lay carelessly in his arms.

She closed her eyes, pulling herself as close to him as she could.

She could have stayed like this forever, in his arms.

In the arms of the man she loved beyond any extent.

Beyond anything.

Another deep laugh from him, brought her back from her sweet sweet reveries.

Just as she adjusted to the screen again, he turned himself on her and kissed her with all his might. 

He had been thinking about those soft rosy lips, since she stood in his room timidly.

And here, he couldn’t control any further.

 He wanted her so bad.

He wanted her all for himself.

Little did he know, she was already his.

From her body to her soul.

She had already given her all to him.

The day she laid eyes on him, he had already stolen a major part of hers.

She was his.

And

He was hers.

But they both were still ambiguous to this fact. 

*

Photo courtesy: pexels.com

I hope you enjoyed this!! Appreciate your support a lot.

Sombre!


 She lay tormented in her bed. Again.

 The only voice in the room were the         sniffs she was trying hard to muffle,

Lest, her younger sister might wake up.

It was him again.

Just a few minutes ago she had cribbed about the situation to her best friend hoping it will remove some weight off       her heavy heart.

But he just never left her head.

 A tear escaped her eyes and she cried harder, relishing the memory of his soft   lips on her, claiming her as his,                   promising to be forever hers. 

And lo! How easy was it for him to let his words slip so meaninglessly. 

To take what he wanted and walk off       effortlessly.

Why was she drowned so deep in his love that she had forgotten herself.

She had forgotten how strong she was.

She had forgotten her worth.

 He was like a breath to her. 

 He was craved deep in her soul.

 He had scarred her hard.

But for him, she was just a phase. 

A phase that would pass away soon,

 that he was certain of.

A phase he would happily let go.

*

Photo courtesy: pexels.com

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Ombre brunette!

The dreary silver ball strode leisurely not letting the morning sun shone it’s colorful rays on the vast mass of land and water.

What was it trying to do?

Probably, protecting some girl from the deplorable state she was up for tomorrow.

A girl with ombre brunette hair stood infront of the mirror exploring her features.

Her eyes roved about her face finally settling on her nose.

She moved closer to the mirror and tilted her head.

She traced the outline of her nose, keeping one straight finger on it.

Trying to figure out, how was it crooked.

“You have a crooked nose.” He had said hugging her from behind, kissing her shoulder. 

And yet she was here in her boudoir, dressed in flannels,under the burning lamp, readily admitting, “It’s crooked,indeed” she smiled.

“Is she demented? ” asked the desperate sun waiting for his turn to come up.

“She loves him.” Replied the moon pitifully.

“Love? She believes him? Just like that?” The ball of fire asked irritated.

“That’s what love does. It tames you, it overpowers you, it makes you feel weak yet strong.” The moon tenderly replied.

“Does she know of the mistress he screws behind her? The many other mistresses he has for his very own pleasures. Now, does she?” The sun rolled his eyes hoping she would hear him.

The bright silver ball chose to remain quiet.

The girl with lustrous ombre brunette hair, smiled to herself and wrapped herself in the warmth of her blanket. 

Dreaming of his sombre grey eyes,hoping to be enveloped in his arms again. Hoping to hear his voice again.

Too oblivious of his deceiving facade.

Too oblivious of his crooked nose.

Too drowned in his love.

*Photo courtesy: pexels.com

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